Julia, Week 11 - Is It Time to Stop Hiding?
I would be lying if I said that I was not looking forward to reading Everything I Never Told You.
From the many bitter murmurs of my peers–often complaining about the chore of writing essays related to the book–I have quite the collection of mixed reactions towards Everything I Never Told You:
“The story drags on for too long,”
“The plot really confused me,”
“It’s honestly better than The Great Gatsby.”
It was undeniably entertaining to hear them argue on their answers to comprehension test questions in casual conversation. But even then, not once did I bat an eye at the difficulties this APENG unit would have in store for me. After all, I admit that I have plenty of knowledge on one of the underlying themes of this book.
The power of keeping secrets.
This knowledge I claim to have has been gathered throughout my entire life. My experiences I’ve shared through my many interactions build on this knowledge. Whether someone would tell me their secrets, or if I would have to keep my own secrets to myself, I was forced to lie to others and keep the truth to myself. Because I know that if these secrets were to ever be let loose, I’d hurt the people I truly love.
Unfortunately, similar to Lydia from Everything I Never Told You, the victims of my deceptions were often my own closest family members. I absolutely refused to tell them that I was struggling with my academics, or that I was actually struggling to keep up with my own friend group.
Keeping these secrets away from them is better than feeling their looks of disappointment glare me down.
It’s better than having them know that I am inferior in comparison to my cousins.
It’s better than hearing them brush my problems off with the apathetic phrase, “You just need to pray more.”
It’s better than giving them yet another excuse to take pity on me.
Even if it meant that these secrets will come at the cost of my mental health, I still refused to let them see my imperfections. Even if it meant that I had to lie to myself, too.
That’s what really got me excited to start reading this book. I, for once, was able to resonate with a character from one of the books we’ve read so far in our junior year. Other students were finally able to live my life vicariously through reading this book. I finally didn’t feel alone and submerged in my own problems.
Perhaps Everything I Never Told You would finally enlighten me on the consequences of abusing this power that I’ve hidden from everyone else…
and soon enough, it will be my turn to let the curtain fall on my lifelong act.
Hi Julia! It was an interesting connection that you made between Everything I Never Told You and our blog topic for this quarter. It was obvious that secrets are an essential part of the book, with each family member keeping certain things to themselves. However, I like how you expanded this aspect to a discussion of power. Secrets can hold immense power in our lives because of the value they can have. They can have disastrous consequences on our relationships since they can decrease the trust between us and our loved ones. Keeping secrets is an indicator that one is not willing to share something—something that could be extremely important to the relationship. Therefore, secrets have the power to break personal connections. However, secrets can also have positive effects on society. Governments often have classified information for the sake of national security, so they keep secrets to keep their citizens safe. A more obvious pro of having secrets is being able to maintain privacy. In the United States, every citizen has the right to privacy, meaning that they are allowed to keep certain information to themselves. In other words, secrets enable Americans to practice their right to privacy. Nevertheless, I can empathize with your situation since I, too, have faced circumstances where I had to have secrets to protect the people I loved. You have changed my outlook on Everything I Never Told You. I now see the book through this new lens that reveals surprising connections between me and the story, so I have to thank you for that.
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